Yoda Yoda Yoda
important to keep up with current events . Thatís why my
son and I went to see the latest Star Wars movie on the
big screen. We didnít sit outside the theatre for weeks,
as some dedicated news junkies always do. We just paid
for tickets, and went right on into a theatre near us,
to witness Episode II, which, like Episode I, precedes
all the Episodes that came forth years and years ago. My
son and his friend like to sit right up in the front. I
prefer the back. So off we went to our respective seats.
Confident we were (if I may quote Yoda) that our quest
for knowledge would be fully satisfied. And we were not
alone in this quest. The Episode was playing on four
screens, a new showing every hour and fifteen minutes.
Many hours later, we emerged in-the-know, and two out of
three - a clear majority - thought it was great!
One by one,
I regard Star Wars movies as Woody Woodpecker with
humans. All together, they present a Big Picture.
who used to be old and now is young, is responsible for
training Anakin Skywalker to be a Jedi knight. (Jedi
knights are very energetic and adventurous male persons,
who use light sabres and "The Force.") Anakin used to be
Darth Vader, the asthmatic bad-guy in black armor, who
killed Obi Wan, and later turned out to be the father of
Luke Skywalker, who was a young man and now is not yet
born. Luke Skywalker was the fruit of the impending
marriage between Anakin and a woman who used to be a
queen and is now a Senator.
Star Wars: Episode II - Anakin
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finds Anakin, on the brink of manhood, proving the
proverb that idle hands are the d....ís workshop. He
must protect the Senator, who is in grave danger for
some reason. The Senator, accustomed to sitting around
making bold decisions about the social order, and being
not allowed to hang around in the Senate while she is in
danger, occupies herself by making decisions about
elaborate fashion statements. She sets a high standard
for herself. One complete fashion statement per scene.
This takes up all her between-scenes time, leaving Anakin with nobody to play cards with. Having no
fashion-statement skills on account of having only the
clothes on his back his whole life, Anakin is left with
nothing to do but reflect on injustice as it applies to
him personally. Naturally, having discovered firsthand
how little they have in common, they get married.
you think of the fight?" my son asked me, when the movie
was over. He meant the scene in a cave, where the very
capable Obi-Wan/Anakin team were so easily overcome by
some guy with a light sabre, (I donít know who
that guy was) whereupon Yoda popped in and, handing off
the cane upon which he always leans with both hands,
proceeded to leap about quite nimbly, before dragging
himself out of the cave, all crippled up with age, or
whatever it is that cripples him up.
said, "it was OK, but my favorite scene was the wedding
the credits began to roll immediately after it."
"I told you
thatís what sheíd say," my son told his friend.
that was not the exact moment when my son revealed that
he had read my mind from afar. It was when, upon
emerging from the auditorium, I asked what day it was.
has a moral, even if it doesnít have a plot. If youíre
going to go to some planet or other to fetch a child so
he (or she, letís pretend this is a different story) can
be trained as a Jedi knight, because he (or she) is
clearly the Chosen One, do not take him (or her) to a
place where there are no families, and leave his (or
her) mother (or father) behind. If you do, here is what
child is going to grow up, get involved with some
organization where they make him dress in a way that is
just all wrong for him. Next thing you know, heíll be
breathing so loud you can hear him on the next planet.
So now, you, too, are in the know. Youíre welcome.